I’m Rhonda. A certified life coach, who spent a lot of years feeling like a fraud and a failure.
I was Certified as a Coach in 2017.
Not too long after, I started feeling a little unsure. A little bit in over my head. I’d never ran a business before. I didn’t have any evidence I could do it.
I also remember working with my first clients. I felt like a Rockstar at doing models with my clients. I love that tool and I was good at it…but then what? Do another model? Sometimes I felt like I was fumbling over my words and all in my head trying to figure out how to help them, instead of really listening and being present with my clients.
These were all reminders that I had a piece of paper calling myself a life coach. And that was cool and all, but I had a little secret…. I didn’t really feel any different than before… I didn’t feel like a life coach a lot of the time. For some reason I thought I’d get that certification and just own life, like a Boss.
Those were some of the earliest signs of me letting my emotions dictate and nearly shut down my business before it started.
If you’re struggling to get your business started and aren’t sure if you’re one of those coaches who can actually make a consistent income in this industry, hang around.
I was you for so long. I watched many of my peers soar on by me, making money and bringing in lots of clients.
I kept thinking I needed to take another business course or run more Face Book ads. Imagine my surprise when I finally figured out that I only needed to understand and manage my emotions on a deeper level.
My lack of emotional awareness kept me stuck. I was frustrated and exhausted.
I’ll never forget the day it finally clicked for me.
I was lying in the bathroom floor crying, in the fetal position…gasping for breath, because I’d just gotten turned down for what I thought was the job opportunity that was going to deliver my family from financial despair.
And looking back on it, I guess it kinda did, but definitely not in the way I thought.
I had applied for a job with a coach who at the time was making well over 7 figures. One of my coaching friends was working for her and helping with the hiring process. I just thought I was an “in.” Even though, the thing I would be coaching on wasn’t even in my niche and I would be doing a lot of written coaching which wasn’t really something I wanted to spend a lot of time doing. Why was I so committed to getting this job??? Oh, yeah…of course. It was because I thought it would be a good way to make some money without having to grow my own business—which I felt totally afraid of and incapable of at the time. Can any of you relate? Let me just go work for someone else because that’s safer and easier and I don’t know how to market and do all the hard things. I’m gonna drop a truth bomb here. If you’re having those thoughts and your scared and using this as the basis to not grow your business…it’s because you’re letting your emotions run your life and of course your business. You are not in control. That’s OK. Obviously I was there too. You’re in the right place and I’m here to help you, but I want you to tell yourself the truth about that.
Your business isn’t growing, not because it’s too hard or you don’t know how to market and coach clients well enough. It’s because you aren’t managing yourself emotionally. One more truth bomb, if you don’t figure out how to manage your own emotions right now, it’s gonna be pretty hard to coach your clients around their emotions.
Let me tell you the turning point for me and how I over came it.
Remember the bathroom floor I just mentioned? That’s where it started.
Can you picture it? I’m crying, heaving, on a gross bathroom floor.
At that time, I was coaching couples to create more intimacy in marriage by teaching them to be more emotionally aware. I was getting pretty dang good at managing my emotions in my marriage and relationships so I felt good in this role, but for some reason, it hadn’t transferred over to my business skills quite yet. As awful as the heaving, bathroom floor moment was, it was also a pivoting point that changed my business.
This day on the floor, I knew I had to make a change. I peeled myself off the floor, I stood up I went into my room and I decided to let myself get to know all the shame and embarrassment I had around my business and money goals…for the first time ever.
It was excruciating. It felt like my insides were being ravished by the negative emotions. I remember lying there and wanting so badly to grab my phone and numb my brain with social media, or anything really to not have to feel what it felt like to have shame, embarrassment, fear, failure disappointment vibrating throughout my body.
It was intense, but even in that moment I knew it was a turning point for me. I knew if I could get through that. If I could process those emotions, that I could then stop being a victim and start intentionally creating the life I’ve always wanted.
I’m not gonna lie. It took more than one session of me feeling that internal chaos, before I was able to really let go of the emotions of that experience.
And I’ve gone through that process many times since then, as new situations have come up.
It wasn’t pretty at times, but I am SO very grateful that I had the privilege of feeling and processing those emotions.
It changed me.
I got my life coaching certification from the Life coach school, but I earned my degree in feeling really sucky emotions and doing it anyway, from the school of hard knocks.
Stick around and come along as we learn how to stop feeling stuck and start making money.