Can you remember when you first fell in love with your husband?
The way you would flirt…
Hold each other’s hand…
The butterflies from that first kiss….
You probably talked for hours without running out of things to say. You were learning and discovering each other. You had so much excitement and energy as you fell head over heels.
Somewhere along the way the excitement may have faded. Things began to change. Part of this is normal as we enter new phases of our relationship, but if you are struggling to feel attraction or even tolerate your spouse right now, it doesn’t have to be this way!
If you are unable to connect and feel less like soul mates and more like roommates who tolerate each other, decide today that you will choose to be attracted to your husband again. Choose to be giddy and excited all over again.
I love the concept that attraction is a decision we keep on making.
You can be with someone for years and not feel much attraction, but they leave you and you are all of a sudden obsessed with their eyes and lips. You miss them so much. You had them and didn’t think much about them. Now that you can’t have them it’s all you can think about. Their eyes and lips probably haven’t changed. The only thing that has changed is your thoughts about them.
As odd as it may sound, it is important that you practice attraction in your relationships by practicing attraction thoughts. Notice on purpose the things that are super attractive about your husband. Decide to be attracted to all of it. Increase the attraction on purpose. Once you start doing this you will be blown away by how good you can get at it!
I try to notice all the things I love about my husband. His long legs (I come from a short family 😉), his scruffy beard, the look in his eyes when he’s watching me. I’m attracted to the way he takes care of our family by going to work everyday and the way he holds the door for others when we are in a public place.
He’s not perfect and neither am I. We’ve been married for almost twenty years and it would be easy to start nit picking and noticing all the flaws, but why would we want to do that?! When we aren’t making a conscious decision to choose attraction our brain will likely focus on the negative. That’s just what brains do.
Do me a favor and write down the three most attractive things about your husband and then start thinking about those features throughout the day. See how that changes things for you. Leave me a comment below and let me know how it goes!
Need help practicing attraction and igniting that spark again? Contact me here for a free 20 minute relationship session to find out how you can start choosing attraction.