Perfectionism and Comparison
Some of us use the call to “be ye therefore perfect”, in a way that Heavenly Father never intended. If you are anything like me, you probably do it too. Does any of this sound familiar?
In an attempt to be perfect, you might start to focus on your failures, over-extend yourself and even doubt your own worth.
You look at everyone else around you and see all of their best qualities. You see the wife who always looks like perfection by her husbands side, and the mom who never raises her voice to her children. You might begin to wonder why you can’t keep your house in order, when your neighbor works full-time, has five kids and keeps her home immaculate. And the comparisons go on and on.
You take the best qualities of everyone around you and create in your mind what you believe to be the “perfect” wife and mother.
You can never be as good as her. She isn’t even real. Yet, when you fall short of measuring up to this perfect -but fictitious- woman, you allow it to destroy your happiness, your feelings of worth and your self esteem.
If you get sucked into this trap of comparison, know you are not alone. It’s human nature. We all do it to some degree. Just simply be aware of what is going on. Be kind to yourself, as you start to notice each time you try to measure up to what you think you are supposed to be. Then, start asking yourself what you really want to be. What works best for you and your family?
Once you start to be aware of what you are thinking and what is realistic for you and your family, you can start to make a shift in how you approach your life and marriage.
I know you just want to be happy. You want your husband and children to be happy. Trying to live up to a fictitious standard of perfectionism is actually just sucking the happiness right out of your life.
I believe working toward being more perfect is the journey we are to travel in this life, not a concrete destination in this earthly experience. True happiness comes from a deeper understanding of ourselves and our purpose. It doesn’t come from looking the part.