“What the human being is best at doing is interpreting all new information so that their prior conclusions remain intact.”
Have you ever known someone who believed something so deeply, they would not consider that they were wrong…no matter what the evidence said? If you were the one trying to convince them otherwise, I bet it was frustrating for you.
Our brains have sort of a filter on them. Our brains interpret all the information presented to us through the filter of our own belief system. This why two different people can take the exact same fact and prove two different points.
Let’s look at this example. A husband cooks dinner for the family and then goes to rest in the bedroom after a long day of work. One wife might think, “I am so grateful to have a husband that would work all day and still be willing to cook dinner for us. I am willing to clean up in return.” Another wife might think, “Ugh! Why does he even bother to cook dinner if he is just going to make a mess of the kitchen and then go lie down afterwards?!” Same situation, but two different responses.
What would make the difference in which response you would have? Perhaps, how you are feeling that day? If you are thinking of your husbands sacrifices or your own? Your expectation of how spouses divide household chores?
I am not saying one way is right and one way is wrong. It’s just super helpful to know that we are always interpreting our environment based on our thoughts and beliefs. We are always looking for evidence to prove our case, so to speak.
If you think your husband is the greatest man in the world, you will be looking for evidence to prove that true.
If you think he is an inconsiderate jerk, you will be able to find evidence of that as well.
In honor of Valentines Day coming up this week, I challenge you to look for evidence of love in your marriage this week. Grab a pencil and paper to write down all of the evidence you find. Have fun building a case for love! I bet you’ll find it 💕
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